somebody is always saying goodbye

i have not always been good in dealing with goodbyes..everytime someone leaves, the feeling is the same..my heart gets broken and i am left alone..i still dont understand why things cant just remain the same as they used to be..someone always has to leave..just when you have reached the point that you are starting to know the person... i still dont understand why we have to invest emotions and friendships when in the end they are going to leave u anyways..i just dont understand it...i know i have been through this several times before, but that doesn't make it easier in dealing with it everytime that it happens.. there are moments that i would think of not investing on friendships anymore because of the fear of having to undergo the same feeling of loneliness again.. thinking about it just brings tears to my eyes...knowing that although the friendship will still remain, things will never be the same.. i just hope i get over the feeling as soon as possible cuz everytime i think about it, it just makes me sad..

oftentimes than not, i have tried to detach myself from the people around me, because of the fear that they would leave me anyways. many times have i tried to protect myself from the pain of having someone leave you but then again, i cant help myself from being close to someone, leaving me helpless and defenseless. a good friend of mine once told me that we should look at it in way that we should be thankful that we were given the chance to know the person instead of focusing on the feeling of being left alone...i dont know, as of now, nothing makes sense... i know she has a point, but as of the moment, i still dont understand why all these has to happen.. i still dont..i just hope that this would all pass, that at the end of the day, i will realize that there is a valid reason for everything that is happening..that at the end of the day, i know that it is worth all the pain and loneliness that i am feeling...